My Stalkers* ♥

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Just within one night, I had so many thoughts. I'm a person which like to express myself with words so I'd ofcourse have alot to blog out. I realised so many things. Wo cuo guai le ni. You weren't even as bad as I thought. Maybe you knowing more than you know now will cause you to really hate me more, but I really found out your someone I need. You ain't anything like I thought you were. Hais. Luckily I didn't say or do anything rashly back then. I'm really starting to dislike who I am. I have to do things guang ming zhen da and stop being the way I are now. Nobody's perfect, but I ain't trying hard enough. I've had enough of being said so much. I have to change. Time to reflect more first. Its almost been 4years. We've also been good friends since we knew each other. Slowly, we got closer and closer. End up being bffs. I admit I did you wrong. But what can I do now when its already too too late? All I can do is to cherish the ones I have left. I musn't acting the way I kept being for the past year and so. Or things will worsen. This time I'm determined. So I must. Though I did you wrong, through all those little texts, messages from you, I know deep down your heart you still care. But you try not to already. I don't deserve anything from you, but you still are giving me those care and concern. Hais. Sometimes I really think I zuo ren tai shi bai le. Given a choice, I'd never let you go when we even had that quarrel. Till today, its been the 1 month and 4th day we weren't close already. I also don't know what I'm thinking sometimes. I think too much ba. I guess, your importance to me was way more than I thought it was. Too bad, its really too late. Now I'm waiting for your text or fb notification. I doubt you'll respond. I don't think you will. I've been staring at my phone the whole day. Not even a single text after I called you. I really want to text you, but yet the guiltiness will just come back to me and I dare not text you. I hate this feeling. Hais. I guess its cos I'm afraid I'll get a response which I don't wish to see ba. I hope we'll get back to how we were, but yet, I fear to. I guess I'll need to start learning how to manage my time. But firstly, I've gotta see whats gonna happen next. Hais, dou shi wo cuang chu lai de huo. Maybe I'll give you a text just before I go to sleep... ): Hais!!

To another you, sometimes seeing your text makes me frustrated, not cos its something I don't wish to see. Its cos you make me confused. So many things are on my mind. How is it possible to reply you with so many things i'm thinking? Its coming a month le. But what can I do? Though I want you around, your companion, whatever I do, I care, I also can't let you know. Well I've got my reasons. All I have to say is I'm sorry. A day without your text really makes me feel weird. Idk if its cos of the things happening or what, but just today without your text makes me feel rather amiss of something. I guess I'll just let you be until at least I know what to do next. Bao qian <\3

K, I needa go study!! Cannot get bothered so much le! Can't think so much! Best is go study, study dao bth then sleep, so I won't keep thinking so much! Hais!! Hope I'll overcome everything soon and start changing into a better person before something goes wrong and blablabla happens! I wanna get to study now );<


~*T,C&LWNR**~

12:36AM ; 7 August 11

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