BACK! Long time haven't updated blog. So many things happened lately. Have since not talked to her for awhile. Go school, go alone or else with some other classmate. Sad uh. Everything changed. He's no longer by me. He chose this route. She haven't contact me since then. I guess I'll just continuing taking this route if thats what this should be. I won't wanna force anything outta it. I'm sad, but so what. What matters is that I'm not part of their burden nor problems anymore. Sigh. Will update more soon again.

~*T,C&WNR**~

07:53PM ; 22 July 11

I guess I've got my answers to it all . Why are these happening ? I seem to be just a tiny part of everything . Why ? Why are things getting out of hand ? Why ain't things getting better ? I'm really tired of this le . Why do I have th one to be taking th inniciative all th time ? I'm human too . Why only is it always got to be me ? I can't stand it . When will this ever end ? Hais . Maybe I ought to know and rmb my position to you . I can't be anything more than what I should be in . Maybe those things which I said only made you sympathise me . I need not need it . I hate this in fact . I ain't thinking too much I know . I'll just go along w whatever that comes now . Enough le . Time to do as I promised and just go for those targets . I must not fail them .. Must jiayou all th way ~ I only started realising things I didn't know . Those chances , opportunities , I missed it all . I hate myself for doing that . How silly . And th day* is reaching soon . I wonder what am I suppose to do ... Hais !

11:04PM ; 15 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Some things are better being blogged than vented out on facebook or to anyone . No one understands . Sigh . How and who to turn to ? BLOG . What should I do ? THINK . How should I do things ? THINKING FIRST . Miss th past ? IDK . Them ? No idea too . I'm shag . Upset and everything . Even after thinking so much for so long , there still doesn't seem like any ways to get rid of all these . Sigh ); Sometimes I really don't know what should I do . Sometimes when things are getting out of hand . When I can't do a thing . I just wanna give up . But I can't . Sigh ... I feel super down .

10:17PM ; 13 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Sigh . No matter what I say or do , I know nothing ever return th way it was . Why do you have to act as if you even care when you already don't ? Since you already made it so clear I guess I shouldn't be so persistent or care any further . In 2 days time , if you don't manage to receive it , fated . After that day , I'll stop contacting all of you . Not anymore . I've made up my mind . I hope you all will lead a much better and more peaceful life without me . No matter how much I hate things this way , I'll let it be and just leave .

Sigh , I know its surely gonna be a difficult time for me . As long as you all are happier , its all worth it . Everywhere I go , there would always have memories of someth got to do with all of you . Nevermind . Since I've made up my mind , I shall not go against it . I'll be going very different routes from all of you . Wherever I am , I'll just make sure I'm away from your so history won't repeat again . Hais ..

09:00 PM ; 06 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

What am I suppose to do now ? Just told her I'll stay positive before heading home . But now ? Shag over th same issue . Though I'm forcing myself to get used to it , I know things won't change . I don't know how else or what should I do . It must be me and my darn existence again . URRGHH !!! Whatever I talk to friends about daily stuffs , dou hui talk until you come into th picture . Wherever we go , whatever we do or talk about , you'll be in it .. Sigh . Imy and I'm so sorry . I don't know what can I do too . I ought to let go I guess ... All of you all at th same time and stop bothering any of you again ... Na zhong kui jiu gan , hui yong yuan zai xin li le ... No matter what I do , its gonna be with me for a very long time for sure ... Sigh , thanks to me and myself ... Zi zhao mafan .. Hate it ttm . I deserve it ba . Time to go my own way and do my best to get out of this place ...

Did or do any of you know how difficult this path is ? Its never a path I thought I'd did ever had to take . Its never what I wanted . I never thought such things would happen ... Sigh . Since it happened , I guess I'm left with them to turn to .. Thanks to them , thanks to them for making me smile and laugh no matter how much I want to break down .. Really thankful ... Ain't gonna be so wang en fu yi and take things for granted already ... Sigh ..

06:08PM ; 5 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Whats th point of having regrets at a point like this ? I didn't do anything wrong , and your again like th past you . Whats wrong with me or you ? Day after day , things are just getting worst . I miss you , th past and everything we shared togthr before . I guess you don't even remember them . Being a friend , also seem so difficult . What else can I do ? Everything I ought to say I said . All those I shouldn't I also did . Well , I've nothing else to say that can make you stop being like . Its such a torture . I hate this . I wish I'll manage to reach my target within these few years time . I've enough le .. Sigh .

12:02AM ; 4 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Every kinda thoughts coming through my mind . What am I suppose to do now ? Really time to mia from everything and start learning from th start again ... Gonna needa learn to do things th right way and and not always so negative ... Regretful , think too much m too negative , too naive . Thats th problems . Sigh . I must have again taken things and people for granted that make things turn out so badly . Not th first time already . Probably th second worst time , that you don't even care anymore . I must really have done someth wrong . Your beginning to be exactly like her ... Sigh . Sorry . I can't be that particular one in that position anymore . Time to wake up for good

12:47AM ; 03 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Gotta learn to be a better person from this moment on . Can't bear to lose anything more .. Enough le . Grow up xmm !

Just what have I done wrong ? Everytime this kinda things happen . Again , now need talk to someone . Talk to who ? Myself ? I don't think there's any more point in deceiving myself to anything already .. Won't turn to you le ... XGJH ! Gotta learn to be independent and grow up from now ...

~*T,C&LWNR**~

12:05AM ; 03 July 11

Somehow , things are getting from bad to worst . Theres no way I can do to make things th way they are . I seem positive , always giving people advices and stuffs , end up can't even do anything bout my own problems , still want to help other people . Hais !!! Urghh . Maybe thats what I'm good at and so I shouldn't bother bout such nonsense ... I wish I could be able to convince myself to let go of it all . I don't know whats th point of insisting and holding on when there doesn't seem to have any hope at all . CUI ! Shag man . Sigh . What more can I do now ? <\3 I miss all of you and th past very much . Sadly its already all th past . I didn't do anything wrong ... Hais . Needa learn to walk a route on my own ba . Xi guan jiu hao . Can't be so weak ! Needa jiayou and go for it , can't so easily break down anymore !

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11:20PM ; 1 July 11

Tiring day . Celebrated friend's birthday with another grp of cliques . Had fun (: Hope th birthday girl will be happy with her gift^^ Spent so long searching for it cos I ain't into KPOP !! It totally isn't worth th price , but it sure is worth to see a smile th receiver smiles when she receives it . I'm willing to spend money on people and friends just to see them smile and be happy , even if its for a moment . Its all worth it though kinda silly (:

Whatever you said made sense . What comes around goes around . But I'm sure I haven't done anything to deserve such treating from th three of you . Well , I choose to believe that its all part of life . We've all parted . All changed . Not that I didn't . But even if I did , its mostly because of these happenings . I've decided to stop deceiving myself with all th stuffs I've been thinking of . Time to step out of it and stop going back into it . Sigh . Confused:(

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11PM ; 1 July 11

Can't believe it . Sigh . In th first place jiu shouldn't have taken any orders from them . No money shouldn't even take . Hai dao now everything my fault . Cry liao who cares ? F care . Cos they not th ones responsible to pay nor be responsible for th bags . Sigh . Though it seems like a very simple thing , it is , but make until it got worst . Supplier texted me saying bags increased $3 cos of shipping fee , I told all of them . All say okay . Then supplier again texted me ask me add $3 more then changed to $1 for each bag . I didn't even earn any of their money , yet have to go through all this kinda thing . Though th bag can be sold to someone else , its making me in a diff position as I'm not even th one paying for it . They won't understand . All they "know or think" is I'm earning their money . Well , I'm never gonna sell things to friends anymore . Thinking that its cheap so I asked them out of good will as they are quite close , things went out th wrong way . So damn disappointed . All these disappointments , they won't understand cos none of them wants to think about me . They say so easy , cancel jiu cancel , now I jialat jialat with th 2 bags . Sigh . I hate it this way and damn shag and disappointed with them . Well , its all about bs and things that they can never understand . I didn't earn a thing and I seem to be th huai ren as if i'm trying to earn their money when I don't even earn 10 cents out of each bag . I shouldn't try to be so "hao xin" and ask so much next time . Hais ... Why won't they just try to understand ? Its not even my fault .. If they feel as if I'm "cheating" or scamming or whatsoever , why not they think , isn't it worst that I have to take responsibility for 12 bags and not just their's ? Say so easy jiu shi "I don't want th bag liao" , cos either "Getting more and more exp lea" / "I don't think I'll be using even if I buy" , then in th first place want buy and last min cancel , make me in such a difficult position ? Or , its not as if I want to increase th pricing of those bags when I don't even earn a thing . Sigh ... Suan le ba . I'll never take such risks or be so kpo ask so much in future ... Disappointed , cried , but end of th day , who cares and will understand ?... Hais , time to stfu ..

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11:29PM; 30 June 11

Friends ? Just wtf are friends ? Will be there ? Smlj ? I learn from you all . When you all are in need of someone , I'll just hiu lan . Not my problem what . Fair and square . You all want how jiu how . Wondering wtf is my fucking existence for . Knn . CKLPS then have uh ! F everything man . Friends ? Those who'll approach me cos they even care or bother then really appreciates it . Just wtf am I caring so much for ?-.- I've really had it already ! I'm tired ! I'll just f off th way all want it . Sigh , really confused ..

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11:05PM ; 28 June 11

Hais ... What can I do now ? Shag also can't tell you why .. I suck . I maybe th worst bitch to you .. Worst friend ... Hais . Other than this route , I can't seem to have any other choices to make ... I feel so bad , yet I feel so helpless .... Its all for th best .. I can't remain like how I used to be before , or it'll be a never ending thing . Sigh . Will you understand why I'm doing this ? No . You know I'm suffering more than you think I'm happy ? You know I teared alot ? It super hurt me doing this ... Hais , sorry but I have no other alternatives to choose from at a point like this ... Once everything is over , then I'll slowly explain to you ... I'm so sorry ..

SHAG ); SIGH ~

~*T,C&LWNR**~

08:53PM ; 27 June 11

Bad day !!

Today suck ttm ! 3 people suppose to turn up for trades , end up only one did . Still made me wait for 50 mins ?! #@$%@#$&*#$ to th core ! Urrghh . So annoyed-.- One overslept , th other couldn't make it , last one think he so dua pai make me wait . Tmd . Take one train from Kallang to Paya lebar need 50mins ?! Wtf . Tsk ! Early morning chiong with w bro to eunos , meet people take thing , going Boonlay , spammed th damn person's phone till like 5 more stations reaching , I went bugis . Received a text saying : So sorry , overslept ! -.- WTH ?! Sucha waste of my time . Otw to go bugis , friend texted telling me he cancelled order for someth he ordered . I*&#(*&$(*& him ttm man . OMG . Then before going find friends , wanted to collect supply for tees there , "SHOP CLOSED" . -.- !! Qi si ren le ! *It all happened in th morning ! Went Bugis , couldn't shop much cos they* were tired ): But finally bought th other stuffs and more HK pens^~^After that , suppose to do June HW , end up there laugh here laugh there , copy answer , do afew questions then jiu go eat dinner go back le . Had a long day though . Otw home just before gonna step out of shelter , I STARTED POURING LIKE CRAZY !! Wth ?! What stupid luck I have today ! Craps days mans ~ _|_ Hope I'll accomplish my other HW and stuffs tmrw ( TH LAST DAY BEFORE SCH REOPENS !) ); Sian sian sian !! Tonight will sure be another damn long night I guess . Sigh !:(

And to you , mo mo ren , so sorry for not being to accept th way your treating me . Well , probably its all just sympathy . I needn't need it . Appreciate all your care and kindness , but I guess its just too much . Dui bu qi !

~*T,C&LWNR**~

03:29AM ; 26 June 11

<\3

Well well ... 3 years have gone by and its already th mids of sec 4 . I guess everyth can never be th same as before , no matter what I say or hope . Sigh . Maybe , I'm just not good enough . You have been one of th best parts of this 3 years . I really appreciate th things you had and have been doing for me . Though things are getting from bad to worse , I choose to look at it th bright side . At least your happier this way (at least from what I see . I believe in life there will sure be more obstacles and difficult routes to take , choices to make . Though I may not be th one being able to be there anymore , I truly hope you'll find someone else to take my place . So many things we did , laughter , joy and tears , I'll never forget . Th things you say and did whenever I'm always shag , I really appreciate it alot . I didn't know I'll be that upset being in this position to you now . Well , I've got to accept it no matter how much I don't want things to be this way . Its been already going on for quite awhile and I've been always bringing it and these stuffs to you . You must be sick of listening to me complain all th time , thats why you take further steps away from me . Those times we had , I'll always rmb them . Th fun , everything , yes I sure will . Your one of a kind of wonder friend I've ever had . I know where I stand . Sometimes seeing you so miserable from afar , I wish to comfort you . But no matter how I try to go over , you'll still to push me away and fake a smile saying you're okay . I miss those times we cried , laugh , played in th rain , and every single experience we had . But sigh , I've really lose my position .. I hope whatever happens from now , you'll always be happy . You may even have forgotten me , or probably its me thinking too much cos I care . I hope we'll still be good friends at th very least ... If you've forgotten me , just think of our past sometimes will do . Thanks for all th care , love and concern as a friend . I've never regretted getting to know you from th very day we met . I appreciate everything and really owe you a big thank you . I wish things would have last longer than they would . Well , things had to end for sure .. Hope everything will go fine and smooth for you in no matter what you do ...

To: My Anonymous Friend <\3

Thanks for it all :'/

~*T,C&LWNR**~

25 June 11

Things you'd never know

I'm doing so much just to forget bout you , about anything that has to do with you . Sigh I guess you'll still be th same . I've done th best I could . Gonna let go once I can . Hope you'll be happier this way . All th best to you .. Th things I do for you , I guess you'll never know nor understand or even care ... Sigh . Just my luck .

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11:00PM ; 23 June 11

Officially made up my mind . Ain't gonna regret that decision . Its all over now ... I had to do things I didn't want to , so I'm doing it for th sake of everything . No one will understand but its okay . I rather play th bad person here for th sake of all of you . Its over ..

~*T,C&LWNR**~

01:07AM ; 21 June 11

What an interesting day I had ! Fell down and almost fainted due to gastric . How awesome . Thanks to two kind souls that I didn't go hospital . Without their help and all , I would have been sent to th hospital . What a great day ! Now I know gastric can be really very serious ~ Sigh , who cares . If I really did went hospital , i'll be happy though . No one gives a f at all . Love my life to th max . I hope one day I meet those two man and woman so I can really thank them ! And , worse come to worse , I hate it when things are like now . Everything has gone from bad to worse . I know both of you don't give a damn anymore . I'm gonna start living with th fact that things are like this . Hais . Imytvm <\3

~*T,C&LWNR**~

02:15AM ; 18 June 11

Seems like I can only turn to this pathetic blog . No one maybe reading this . Th better . Whoever sees this must be thinking how's it possible that my life's so miserable ? Yea , true . So pathetic life . At least I've still got someone I can really yi kao on . Sigh . He ain't th one I want it to be .. Tmrw's gonna be a fantastic day . I'll be out alone . Well , time to fan xing of th things I've done and everything . No close friends , doesn't matter . I'll just live with th fact and stop acting so pathetic and letting others sympathise me . Gonna study and focus on my other stuffs . No point brooding over these type of things when I know nothing's gonna change no matter what I do . Probably its my karma . I'll accept and move on without complaining already . Life has to go on no matter what happens . Sigh ..

~*T,C&LWNR**~

16 June 11

Sigh sigh ):

Hais , I thought with one arnd jiu hao le ... Now everyone seems gone , again ): Sigh . What should I do ? Turn to him* again ? Urrgh . Seriously crap life . Maybe I should just f off all of their lives and stop being so annoying saying so much all th time . Probably ... I should start getting used to it to a life with no close friends and with those type of "2 face" type of people ... Hais . My wonderful life . I love it so much .. I guess I deserve this . Time to wake up from th past .. Sigh ..

Seriously shag ttm .

~*T,C&LWNR**~

16th June 11

Happy and sad ): :D

Yay ~ He finally talk to me liao ! Wheeeeee ~ Hope we'll still be able to be close friends again ! But he seem so qi guai .. Saying so many weird weird stuffs . Hmmm , hope whatever he said was just joking ba . Sad cos , sigh . We* keep having so many conflicts . When then it'll be over ?): Sad sad de me ;( Lazy bloggy lerh ! Off to fb w meihuaaaaa <3 :D

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

03:26AM ; 15 June 11

Sian max

Every night sleep so late , wake up so early . Feel like dying . Seem to be having fever . So unwell , so sian . Hais . Every night shag and fretting over th same things . What can I do ? Keep listening to so many songs which makes me more shag . Really very confused now . What should I do ? Cry also cry liao . Nothing seem to be working . Hais ... Life life life ! Days are getting worst . Urrghh . So much of stress , everything . ~ Selling things online is another stress . Customers sometimes ask or say stupid things . Pekcek sia -.- Hope everything will get better soon again ~ Urrghh . I'm a sad person man seriously . Pathetic .

~*T,C&LWNR**~

10:40PM ; 09 June 11

)':

Seriously , getting more and more shag by th minute . Whatever I do you won't be happy . Then fine . I'll make sure you'll be happy from now . However ways you do , will never be what I want . I hate my life . Hais . Thanks to you . There can be no days and night which I can sleep in peace without crying . Hais .

~*T,C&LWNR**~

09:44PM ; 02 June 11

Hais ...

You'll never know how much your words hurt me .. Thinking nothing would bother me , I didn't care . But as time passes , it got worst .. Day after day , from day to night , everything worsen .. I act as if I don't care , but what ? You won't understand at all .... Hais .. Hope what I'm trying to do really become that way .. Hais , hurting really alot .. Yr words are really very harsh .. Hais ... Other than crying , what can I do ? You'll eventually know why I'm doing all this since back then .. Hope you'll be okay ... Hais ....

Sieh shag dao can't shag already ....

~*T,C&LWNR**~

07:10PM ; 01 June 11

Sigh !

I must be really crazy to be blogging at a time like this .. But I can't stop thinking of those things ! What to do ? ): Momoren will never know nor understand .. Nor is th person suppose to know I'm referring to ta* . Hais ): Really shag ... I thought its completely over ! But its not ! Somehow maybe , but not fully ! Hais ! Sad life for me man ! Why isn't it ending ? Why's everything getting more complicated ? WHY ? Cos its my life ... Fated destiny .. Wei shen me ta* shi ni ne ?:( Every once I think back , I constantly can't stop thinking . Hais . What am I suppose to do ? June lerh , yet things are getting worst ... Why ?): More problems and things to worry , less things to smile and laugh about ... I really wish to hide somewhere and avoid everything ... If only , everything stopped . Even for a moment would be good .. Why won't things get better ? I smile I scream I shout , end of th day , what I'm left w is nothing but tears ... Why ? Maybe this holiday is a good time to make me completely forget everything .. Or isit really gonna just be like this all th way ?): Urghh ... Sucha great life I'm having . Hais . Who'll ever understand these feelings ? Hope I can get to sleep and wake up for sch .. Kk maybe time for afew drinks and off to Zzz !;(

LOST , SHAG , SAD ):

~*T,C&LWNR**~

12:16AM ; 01 June 11

Days are passing fast ~

Its gonna be th June holidays already ... Hais . I'm taking a step while days passes . Nothing special , just weird . Well , half of th year more to changing of everything . After N levels , things will change . Things have to change . Shagged . Things can never remain th same forever . As time passes , people and things change . Don't ever take things for granted in a moment , or you may regret it for life . And also , never procrastinate doing things you thought of doing , cos if you don't do it , you may never have th chance to anymore . In 2011 , is th year which most things changed and took place . I'll never forget this year . Hmmm ..

01:43PM ; 28 May 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

):

Things are getting from bad to worst ! I wonder what to do then things will get better .. Hais ! So many things ... 3 years lerh , things haven't got any better ! Why can't we be better than how we started off ? I don't believe nothing last . Maybe nothing , BUT EXCLUDING TRUE FRIENDS ! But just why is all of this happening ? Maybe after each of us understand whats each other's having on their minds then this would be over ? I've already been making it so obvious and clear to you ... I don't wish things to continue this way . Afew more months and we might not be that close any more .. But why can't things just stop until at least this year ends and we don't see each other that often ? Hais ... Things really changed ! What can I say ? I've taken th inniciative to let you know almost everything that are on mind . But what about you ? Doing all those silly things won't even help but only hurt you . Maybe you just don't know I care ba .. Sigh !! What should I do ? ):

SAD SHAG SIAN !

~*T,C&LWNR**~

09:13PM ; 16 May 2011

Yayyy !

Stupid MYE over le^^ Fantastic !:) Happy si le ! So many things happened again from my last post .. Sian ttm man ): Nothing turned out right . Quarrelled with someone dao never talk lerrh): Thinking of giving in , but I'll sure throw my face cos I ain't th one at fault .. Well , if you momo ren see this , good for you ba . I sure miss you . You've been th most awesome someone which has been always cheering me up and accompanying me through since th first day of sch here . Never regretted getting to know you . Secondly , I guess , probably* , maybe , I already gotten over you . Your gone , everything's gone , but th memories and everything from you will always be remembered and be with me . Almost coming 2 years le , but I finally realised maybe it wasn't even meant to be from th day it started .. Things really feel very weird without you around . Getting used to it . No matter how far or wherever you are , I'll always wish th best and try to be there helping as much as I can . Everything's gone , maybe even forgotten by you . But I'll never forget th things I said and promised to you . I'll make sure I'll do as I say even if you have forgotten . Everything will be remembered ... 17/07/09 , I hope its really gone for good and that those flashbacks won't keep returning . Lastly , I hope ni* , will feel less bothered* after I try to make things easier for you ... Somehow I hope it will .. You don't have to know what , but just hope you'll feel better .. Hope everything stop being so saddening for me and turn out better from now :'( !

**I HOPE , I WISH , those things will come through !**

~*T,C&LWNR**~

07:22PM ; 12 May 11

Blogging blogging time ~

Time passes really fast and its already th end of my cpa MYE paper(: ! Hope Maths P2 gonna be as easy as cpa !:) Bored bored bored . Tired tired tired . So many things happening again lately ! You you you , omg . Seriously wondering wondering what on earth are you thinking-.- Hmmm ... Exams exams exams . Sian ttm la . And I'm surely gonna get over you^^ Thought through so much , and realised I seriously was very silly and naive ! Do so much , say so much , end up things ended even quicker than expected . Well well well , gonna wan quan ba ni wang diao ! Feelings for you faded , much faster than I thought it would be . Have been thinking .. Maybe in th past I thought I needed you , I thought you were th one , thats why si dou bu yao let go . But after you've gone , I realised actually I didn't really needed you . I guess , its just all my imagination . Haha . Seriously , a big joke out of myself ... Its all because , wo yi wei and wo hen tian zhen .. Hais stupid ! From now on , I needa clear my mind and not be so pathetic lerh . Once bitten twice shy . Don't wanna make a fool out of myself again . MUST FORGET AND FORGET !); All along , I'm th one thinking too much .. I mustn't let this repeat ever again . Time to walk out of all these and get up on my own independently . Sometimes , I really laugh and smile so wide , but deep down it ain't turning out th way I seem . What to do ? This is REALITY , LIFE . Hais . Kay , gonna put a stop to everything here , gonna go to sleep and not gonna think of these things when I get up ! So whateva ~ Sleeping time !

THIS FEELING SUCK TO TH MAX MAN );
It all started because of my imagination and childishness .

03:20PM ; 5 May 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Blog time !^^

I guess , I'm gonna fully get over you ! In th past , I would never have such thinkings for you th way I'm having now . You no longer hold any position to me . Not anymore . Love to hatred , must be what you always wanted . I'm glad I finally wake up from these stupid craps I've been having for you . Stupidy , yea , its gonna be all over any time . I swear things will never be th same again . HEN XIA XIN NEVER GONNA RETURN TO TH PAST ANYMORE . Needa wake up before history repeats itself all over again . Secondly , I'm glad that you're outta my life completely . No you = to life being a few billion times better . No stress , no nothing^^ !
And I don't understand why you* like to always act so childishly . Your actions and everything will not make me jealous again . I'll love my life just th way it is . Won't bother more already . Should concentrate and spend more time on my business (w my PIC* hehee^^v) , studies and w them from now !:) Gonna do my best in everything and stop acting th way I used to be ! (; Must really cherish momo ren more too* , and spend more time w another someone !:D ^^ (; ! ** Hope my smile will remain this WIDE >>> :DDDD <<< :B

~ LOVE IS IN TH AIR ~ ^^v

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

01:28PM ; 2 May 11

Lalalala ~

Freaking bored ! Haven't been posting due to too busy w sch stuffs and selling things ~ Its already going to be Mid year exams !;( Sian ! So fast . So far , I've been barely being able to past these few days being like this ... Hope I'll be able to pull through ba . Today didn't know why , but ust got th urge to read our past covers . Walao , read dao really want cry . Guess I haven't even put you down yet .. I simply think too much bout th past and miss you alot .. Can't help it ... Days without you , are a million times different . With and without you around , everything seem veery different , be it good or bad .. As flashbacks always come to mind , I always can't control my tears .. Every once I think of you , I try my best not to and to always occupy myself with other things .. I wonder , how long more will this go on , and how long will I be able to stand it ... Hais . Hate being in a difficult position like this ... Hope your doing fine w what you're doing and will remain happy ... Blablabla , hope I do well too for th coming exams and manage to cope and handle my time well ..

~*T,C&LWNR**~

02:37PM ; 21 April 11

Hmmm ...

Many many things coming to mind ~ Think le keep thinking , now I've decided to help you . What I'm gonna do might make you hate or dislike me , but that doesn't matter as long as there's hope fr you to change . I'm determined to help you cos I believe you will change for yrself and yr future ! I might not be in th right position to even do such a thing but I hope by doing these things it'll at least change you alittle . As long as there's a will I'm sure there's a way so I won't stop trying ! Just hope you'll change for th better from now and lead a normal life like everyone else is . All th best !'

~*T,C&LWNR**~

07:15PM ; 15 April 11

More words after words ~

Hais .. These few days are really so difficult to pass . Now I know , I si dou yao let you go . Friends also can't be anymore . Well , you chose this path . Your getting from bad to worst . I'm gonna wash my hands off you and yr life . You don't worth a thing I do nor a single tear of mine . You're lucky you still have friends . I admit defeat to her and you . Though now I'm having mixed feelings for someone , we won't be tgthr cos I don't wanna destroy our friendship and end up like us . Thats th biggest diff I find between us . I don't "pick up" people whenever I'm fond of them . I'm gonna let go of everything that has got to do w you . I'm sure you'll be happy . Good luck to she and you . Karma will still strike you back numerous times more than how you treated me and everyone else . Good luck to you boy . Gonna hen xia xin fang xia ni for good . I mustn't turn back or tear for you ever again . Goodbye bloody past ! Hope everyday from now will be better days ahead than th past few months' you've put me through .. I know I'll sure think and miss you alot , but its time to say goodbye now ...

~** T,C&LWNR**~

12:29PM ; 15 April 11

Shag shag ..

Lately nothing's going well ... One after another , I'm losing all of them .. Thought I could be friends w him , yet I doubt so ... Shall give him up .. As fr her , she changed ... Why's all these happening to me ? One day they'll really all be gone fr good ... Why must things turn out this way ? Why won't things get better fr me ? Hais ... I hope time would really rewind , rewind to let me treat them better than before ... 17/07/09 , was th first time we* talked and it happened ... 02/09/10 , th second time we got together , things got from bad to worse ... 23/01/11 to 10/03/11 was th best days I ever had ... But things didn't last .. You changed from good to bad , and from bad to worst ... Hais ... 13/03/11 we got back , 09/04/11 it ended once again ... This time , nothing will bring us back to how I wish things would be like ... Time to let you go ... Another you , th first time we talked was 24/11/10 when you ton over at people's house , we talked fr about 3hrs though its our first time talking .. From 6th March , we had th worst quarrel ever .. During this period of time , then I knew how much I meant to you and found out so much of things I never thought could be true ... Now , you changed .. I guess probably its th end between th 2 of you and I ... Hais , hao hao bao zhong ba ..

~*T,C&LWNR**~

01:45PM ; 14 April 11

Back !

Seems like I haven't been posting here fr days ! Too busy doing lotssss of stuffs in sch and all , can't blog no matter how much I wanna ! On Monday , had cca . Though not marching , still have to go fr cca and entertain all th juniors-.- . Its such a waste of time . Tuesday , had napha test . Have medical reasons so don't need do anything !:D After jiu go back w her <3 , her' him :D , another friend and unexpectedly , HIM . Zzz . Saw him , jitao shag . Also don't know what to do . Didn't dare to turn to even take a glance of him . In train , thought about so many things rgrding us* . Got more and more shag . He came over , I steal a quick peek and almost cried .. Hais . After went Tamp , dinner w her <3 and th other friend . Thinking that they* alrdy left , I felt relieved . After that they appeared again . WTF . Went library find books fr her , jiu go back le . Wed , had 2.4 and I passed !:) After that went T1 and all walk walk , then when she left , went buy her and her' him a couple keychain(: Was their 1 year anniversary , and since its someth rare and they were looking forward so much fr it , I just bought it fr them . As long as they happy jiu hao , everything and anything's worth . If money can be used to buy real and natural smile , I would spend all my money to make as many people as happy as they can:) Yesterday during recess , went give them:D Haha , glad they were happy:) Wished them all th best and stuffs , hope they'll last longer and not just long^^ . After sch had some ridiculous student counsellor investiture rehearsal too . So lame . Such a waste of time-.- . Today , went sch feeling shag , but just had to smile . No matter how shag I am , I can't keep *hais* and ":(" when in sch and all . Cos lots of people will get worried ! So can't , jiu ren .. Last night , had afew hours of sleep , and also th ppast few nights . Super sian ! Now feeling very unwell:( Sigh ! Other than sch , other things have been bugging me . Like that person's stuff . Everything make me shag ... Last night , I thought things were gonna be fine after conferenced . I was wrong . Today things seemed to be th same , and even worst . Sigh , why won't you ever see that yr actions are really selfish ? Why are you* doing this to me ?): Shag max , but you won't understand ... Really want things to get better from now ... K , time to sleep so I won't think too much and all . Feeling worse now); Hope I recover soon !:(

~*T,C&LWNR**~

6:48PM ; 8 April 11

Blablabla ...

Today was a horrible day ! Everything sucked ! Early in th morning jiu tio kp like hell , followed on by online seller , went mia . Buyers all cancelled orders last minute , and one last freaking thing* Hais ! Terrible life la seriously . To that bloody jerk , I know you don't even give a damn bout anything already . I don't wanna care either . I love yr nice attitude . Well , yr choice . Its all up to you . Karma's gonna so damn strike back hard on you . As long as you think you did no wrong , its fine w me . One day you'll really regret . Yr choice ba . From now onwards , I must not allow anything to affect my mood that easily already . Must learn to be strong and pick myself up every once I fall . Cos I know , no matter how much people* say they'll be there fr you , you mustn't totally think you can really rely on the, , or when you need them and they're not there fr you , you'll fall much deeper . Must be independent and strong from now ! Home everyday will be a much better day than "yesterday" .

~*T,C&LWNR**~

2:25PM ; 2 April 11

2nd April's Post

So what if adults are our elders ? That totally doesn't give them th right to scream and shout at their younger ones and expect us to just diam right ?They have mouths , so do we . What are our mouths fr ?Want us diam diam , then why they kpkb so much ?Wtf . They shout at us jiu can , we say back to fight fr our rights cannot ? Smlj kinda logic ? Ccb . Younger ones need to respect elder ones , then older ones don't have to equally respect younger ones ?Want people to respect , jiu respect them first la pcb-.- _l_

~*T,C&LWNR**~

2:14PM ; 3 April 11

SHOUT -OUTS !

Just what on earth parent wants ? Gong out also have wrong meh ? Everytime they say after sch don't wonder about go home straight . Then whenever want go jiu say cannot . Thats why I always stay out till so late what ! WTF ? Am I a full time robot that have to be their fucking slave and keep studying all th way ? Where on earth is my own personal freedom ? Im no longer a 6 year old kid ! I'M FUCKING BECOMING 16 ! Fucked up life la seriously !_l_ Next time jiu forever don't go out best right ? Sometimes I'm really tired of everything and everyone thats making my life so miserable .. Why all these things* have to keep happening on me ? Why me ? Why ?.. I'm really tired , yet can't even do anything ... No one will ever understand me cos your not me .. When I really can't stand it any longer .. I'll sure do someth I'd never want to ... Hais .. Destinated crap life !_l_ Hais !

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11:55AM ; 2 April 11

A crap day !-.-

Today was a boring day . Sch sucked . Whole day didn't even drink or eat ! Hmm, blablabla and th day passed . After sch jiu chinese oral , waited fr more than an hr before my turn-.- Results sure cui ! After school went back le . Bored and stupid day w sucha crap weather_|_ ..

To you* : We seem to not talk much anymore . I feel really bad reacting this way towards you too .. But , sorry . I just have to ... Hope you'll get used to it soon . Hais ! Really bao qian !

And , thought bout everything th past few days .. I really don't want anything to happen . Whatever I say to you seems like nothing already ... Hais .. Ni kai xin jiu hao le ... Hope you'll be alright .. Hope things will soon be fine and gets better ... Miss you !:(

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

7:30PM ; 31 March 11

A Happy Day ! (:

We finally went out today again ! Just th two of us , like on a date !:D Yayyy ! Happy happy ! HAHA . We're like crazy people which like to entertain ourselves , like to go crazy , talk about random stuffs and talk nonsense ! Th last time we went out was like more than 3 weeks ago ! We should start to go out more often and talk more again !:) Took train to tamp , keep laughing and talking about random stuffs , exercising* , and many things bout and in th train !^^ HAHA ! We must stay sweet ! Last long my dear !:D Hehee:B Did many things** before going to a T1 shop , spent like more than half an hr inside because I saw soooo many MINNIE MOUSE THINGS !^^ <3 Wah ! In there uhh , have super many minnie mouse things ! So cuteeeeeee la !:D After that kept walking in circles w you* in th shop finding storybooks and end up very dizzy , jiu fnally went home ! Bought a teen magazine and a MINNIE MOUSE Clear folder !!;D We should go out more often from time , just th two of us !^^ <3 I love you many many , and miss yr hug:( Haha . Thats all fr today ! <3

~* T,C&LWNR** ~

8:25PM ; 30 March 11

Urrghh !

I shouldn't have scolded th whole wide world when it was only concerning just another party and I* ! Urrghh ! Really shouldn't have ... Because of that , things got worse ! Next time I shouldn't do things that way already ! It ain't fair to other people ! Gosh , silly me .. Got to kick that stupid bad habbit of mine le ! And I really ought to care more about others before myself in future ! I shouldn't be so selfish and only think fr myself ! I got to learn to change le ! Afternoon scolded her , feeling so bad and worried now .. Hais , I really didn't mean it ... Can't rewind time .. Hais . Well , have to face it and learn to change ! Must jiayou and ping dao di !

~ T,C&LWNR** ~

9:30PM ; 29 March 11

Sigh ..

Yesterday too busy blog ~ Reach home 8 plus , shower , went do cw stuffs . Slept late and hardly got a good rest . Marching was so damn tiring ! But anyway had fun . Someone allowed me to sit on him/her cos no more chair sit !^^ And still bao wo !:D <3 We looked so sweet and people kept looking ! ~ Hehe:B ! Hope we can remain so sweet and get closer !:) As fr today , really tired of all these things happening .. From day to night , non stop , things always happens ... Sch have sch de stress , out of sch have other stuffs .. Tsk ... Everything's getting from bad to worst ... If this continues I'll sure break down .. Hais ... Y'all ain't there anymore ... All of you are drifting away slowly from me .. I don't understand a thing ... Maybe I think too much .. Probably I shouldn't even care . I'm really sick of everything .. How I wish it all was a dream ... When will things get better ? ): ... No one will truly understand this feeling:( . As of today , I'm just gonna sleep my day till its night and study when I get up ... Don't wanna think of anything le .. Saw you this morning , on th spot shag .. Sigh , every once someth reminds me of you I , I think of all those things ... Hais .. You'll never understand whats this feeling .. Probably I just deserve it ... Lost , speechless and upset .. Sigh ... As long as you'll be happy , its ok ..

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

4:59PM ; 29 March 11

Finally !

Finally got rid of that bloody bo lp person which kept spamming like a stupid retard-.- Anyone who wants to comment from now on , please KINDLY leave yr real name and don't speak any dirty* languages esp in my tagboard ! Thank you vrey much <:

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

Hais !:(

Why is this all happening ? Why ? What have I done wrong ? Is it really true that only after one loses someth then he/she will know how to cherish it ? Just what are even friends ? I don't understand a single bit . I'm tired of everything ... Why .. Why things always happen to me at th sane time ? Feeling freaking helpless .. ): Sigh ....Things changed .. Maybe letting go might be th only way out .. Hais , xi guan jiu hao ba ! Feeling so damn shag and upset ...

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

1:33AM ; 27 March 11

Hello peopleeeee !:)

Maybe its only th second day thats why I've so much to post about ! Haha ! Alot of gong wu gong bo things !:) Too bored , bobian norh !^^ I suddenly miss alot of poeple due to being in sch fr th last 4 days:( Adelin-eeee ARBA* , HIM ♥ , PUIBA , many other people and not forgetting my NURSE JOY ! Haha . My gfriend keep grumbling that I've left her alone fr 4 days and when I return , she's gonna go on mc ! Haha ! Not like I want de ma:( Plus , who on earth enjoys marching ?! Not idw go sch uhh , is I have a stupid eye infection ! Must understand !:) Haha ! Will go back to sch asap !:D

AND , sorry people , I know this current blog looks stupid ! Gonna make it look better by next week I guess ! Haha . Thats all fr NOWWWW ~! Byebye^^

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

5:24PM ; 26 March 11

Some thoughts ..

My finally post before I'm off to sleep ! Promised my Nurse Joy I would be asleep by 02:25 but its already 4:40 and I'm not asleep yet ! Well its because I simply can't get to sleep though I'm very tired and sleepy .. Some stuffs came to mind again ... I thought some blogging would help make me feel better so I just decided to blog my thoughts out . Hais . Talked to friend about some issues and it made me more confused of my decision .. I really don't know what should I do . Yr* things make me can't sleep . I'm so frustrated and upset . Sigh . If only you really understand how and what I'm going through though I seem like I'm ok ... Without yr messages , I feel weird , it feels wrong . I want us* to be back to before 10th March .. Is it possible ?.. Sometimes I can't control my temper . And yet sometimes , you don't wanna give in and we both start it ALL AGAIN-.- .. Yeah , maybe its my attitude and stuffs and I ought to kick this stinky part of me away from my character . I hope things will start to get better .. Hope you'll be th you I used to know and be there whenever I need you , plus be a better you in future ... I have to change now before its too late .. Wanting things to change fr th better from now ..

Was searching some stuffs fr this blog ! :) WILL BE DOING UP THIS BLOGGY HOPEFULLY BY SUNDAY ! Hehe <3

Fb-ing fb-ing ...

Fb till bout 5am and I'll be off to sleep !^^

Wheee ~ All of a sudden , I'm feeling hungry too ! Haha ! *Gastric* :( Maybe I should eat my early "breakfast" before turning in later ! Haha:) Wan an people ! <:

**~ My NURSE JOY , sorry fr making you wait fr so long but I still end up not sleeping ! Heng you never wait or else you'll have to wait till you faint or someth ! & thanks fr waiting !:) ~ **

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

4:44AM ; 26 March 11

My shout-outs !;(

When I wasn't in th mood in th day , I posted this on Tumblr too ..

Dislike everything thats happening today ! I don’t know wth I did wrong to deserve all these ! Nobody would understand because they aren’t me and in my position . Sigh ! Everything thats happening really pisses me off . Sometimes I really wish I could fall into a deep sleep and wake up w no more problems . I’m really tired of all these ..

I may seem ok , putting a smile on all th time and even say I’m ok . But deep down inside , I ain’t ok , I ain’t alright . I feel that I can’t rely on anyone … Well , this is life . And life is never fair … Needa acccept it and look on th bright side , think positive … Many things always happens on and to me . But why does it have to be me ? People always try to be different , but yet I want to be th same . Th same in many ways . Maybe im just too tired of being “unique” , th odd one and all . Hais . Why’s my life like this ? Hope I really can lead a simple life and be happy . And I realise , sometime human beings are so strange . They tend to say things opposite from what they’re thinking and act as if they don’t care when they really do . WEIRD .

BORED , frustrated , annoyed and can’t seem to figure out so many things !;/ Urrghh !;(

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

2:01AM ; 26 March 11

First post on tumblr^^

K la , freaking bored so decided to create a tumblr accnt ~ Almost died of boredom fr th past 3 days ! Home alone all these days . Thanks to this stupid eye I have ! Doctor said I have eye lid infection:( Sobs ! So pain and itchy ! Urrghh ! Missed so much of lessons and happenings at sch le ! Sians . So much of catching up to do ! I miss my gfriend lots too:( Because of this eye , she have to go to sch alone everyday and do everything alone;( Gonna spend more time w her when I return to sch !^^ Hehe:B Miss her muchhyyyy , NOT FORGETTING him♥ , & another her !^^

In th process of these 4 days , I finally seen th true colours of some people . Well , can’t really call them friends now . Disappointed much .. Oh well , its a fact I just gotta learn to accept . I also made a new close friend ! He/she AKA MY Nurse Joy , is a really wonderful friend as I know . This friend of mine have been keeping me close company up till now , since I haven’t been to sch . My NURSE JOYhave been really caring and a friend which always cheer me up no matter what(: I really appreciate this friend’s care and all . Hope everything will turn out better and that our friendship will last !:D Really happy to know that someone really cares even just as a friend:)

Maybe gonna blog bout more thinggggs laterr !^^

Thats all fr nowyyy ! Love y’all !

~ *T,C&LWNR** ~

1:35AM ; 26 March 11

A dumb Intro:)

I did someth lame in th day ! I was so bored I created a tumblr acc and wanted to start on it !-.- End up after asking a friend more about tumblr , I decided to come back to blogging again ! Haha k I know I'm lame so I'm back to blogging !^^ <3>

♥ *T,C&LWNR*

1:18AM ; 26 March 11