BACK! Long time haven't updated blog. So many things happened lately. Have since not talked to her for awhile. Go school, go alone or else with some other classmate. Sad uh. Everything changed. He's no longer by me. He chose this route. She haven't contact me since then. I guess I'll just continuing taking this route if thats what this should be. I won't wanna force anything outta it. I'm sad, but so what. What matters is that I'm not part of their burden nor problems anymore. Sigh. Will update more soon again.

~*T,C&WNR**~

07:53PM ; 22 July 11

I guess I've got my answers to it all . Why are these happening ? I seem to be just a tiny part of everything . Why ? Why are things getting out of hand ? Why ain't things getting better ? I'm really tired of this le . Why do I have th one to be taking th inniciative all th time ? I'm human too . Why only is it always got to be me ? I can't stand it . When will this ever end ? Hais . Maybe I ought to know and rmb my position to you . I can't be anything more than what I should be in . Maybe those things which I said only made you sympathise me . I need not need it . I hate this in fact . I ain't thinking too much I know . I'll just go along w whatever that comes now . Enough le . Time to do as I promised and just go for those targets . I must not fail them .. Must jiayou all th way ~ I only started realising things I didn't know . Those chances , opportunities , I missed it all . I hate myself for doing that . How silly . And th day* is reaching soon . I wonder what am I suppose to do ... Hais !

11:04PM ; 15 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Some things are better being blogged than vented out on facebook or to anyone . No one understands . Sigh . How and who to turn to ? BLOG . What should I do ? THINK . How should I do things ? THINKING FIRST . Miss th past ? IDK . Them ? No idea too . I'm shag . Upset and everything . Even after thinking so much for so long , there still doesn't seem like any ways to get rid of all these . Sigh ); Sometimes I really don't know what should I do . Sometimes when things are getting out of hand . When I can't do a thing . I just wanna give up . But I can't . Sigh ... I feel super down .

10:17PM ; 13 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Sigh . No matter what I say or do , I know nothing ever return th way it was . Why do you have to act as if you even care when you already don't ? Since you already made it so clear I guess I shouldn't be so persistent or care any further . In 2 days time , if you don't manage to receive it , fated . After that day , I'll stop contacting all of you . Not anymore . I've made up my mind . I hope you all will lead a much better and more peaceful life without me . No matter how much I hate things this way , I'll let it be and just leave .

Sigh , I know its surely gonna be a difficult time for me . As long as you all are happier , its all worth it . Everywhere I go , there would always have memories of someth got to do with all of you . Nevermind . Since I've made up my mind , I shall not go against it . I'll be going very different routes from all of you . Wherever I am , I'll just make sure I'm away from your so history won't repeat again . Hais ..

09:00 PM ; 06 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

What am I suppose to do now ? Just told her I'll stay positive before heading home . But now ? Shag over th same issue . Though I'm forcing myself to get used to it , I know things won't change . I don't know how else or what should I do . It must be me and my darn existence again . URRGHH !!! Whatever I talk to friends about daily stuffs , dou hui talk until you come into th picture . Wherever we go , whatever we do or talk about , you'll be in it .. Sigh . Imy and I'm so sorry . I don't know what can I do too . I ought to let go I guess ... All of you all at th same time and stop bothering any of you again ... Na zhong kui jiu gan , hui yong yuan zai xin li le ... No matter what I do , its gonna be with me for a very long time for sure ... Sigh , thanks to me and myself ... Zi zhao mafan .. Hate it ttm . I deserve it ba . Time to go my own way and do my best to get out of this place ...

Did or do any of you know how difficult this path is ? Its never a path I thought I'd did ever had to take . Its never what I wanted . I never thought such things would happen ... Sigh . Since it happened , I guess I'm left with them to turn to .. Thanks to them , thanks to them for making me smile and laugh no matter how much I want to break down .. Really thankful ... Ain't gonna be so wang en fu yi and take things for granted already ... Sigh ..

06:08PM ; 5 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Whats th point of having regrets at a point like this ? I didn't do anything wrong , and your again like th past you . Whats wrong with me or you ? Day after day , things are just getting worst . I miss you , th past and everything we shared togthr before . I guess you don't even remember them . Being a friend , also seem so difficult . What else can I do ? Everything I ought to say I said . All those I shouldn't I also did . Well , I've nothing else to say that can make you stop being like . Its such a torture . I hate this . I wish I'll manage to reach my target within these few years time . I've enough le .. Sigh .

12:02AM ; 4 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Every kinda thoughts coming through my mind . What am I suppose to do now ? Really time to mia from everything and start learning from th start again ... Gonna needa learn to do things th right way and and not always so negative ... Regretful , think too much m too negative , too naive . Thats th problems . Sigh . I must have again taken things and people for granted that make things turn out so badly . Not th first time already . Probably th second worst time , that you don't even care anymore . I must really have done someth wrong . Your beginning to be exactly like her ... Sigh . Sorry . I can't be that particular one in that position anymore . Time to wake up for good

12:47AM ; 03 July 11

~*T,C&LWNR**~

Gotta learn to be a better person from this moment on . Can't bear to lose anything more .. Enough le . Grow up xmm !

Just what have I done wrong ? Everytime this kinda things happen . Again , now need talk to someone . Talk to who ? Myself ? I don't think there's any more point in deceiving myself to anything already .. Won't turn to you le ... XGJH ! Gotta learn to be independent and grow up from now ...

~*T,C&LWNR**~

12:05AM ; 03 July 11

Somehow , things are getting from bad to worst . Theres no way I can do to make things th way they are . I seem positive , always giving people advices and stuffs , end up can't even do anything bout my own problems , still want to help other people . Hais !!! Urghh . Maybe thats what I'm good at and so I shouldn't bother bout such nonsense ... I wish I could be able to convince myself to let go of it all . I don't know whats th point of insisting and holding on when there doesn't seem to have any hope at all . CUI ! Shag man . Sigh . What more can I do now ? <\3 I miss all of you and th past very much . Sadly its already all th past . I didn't do anything wrong ... Hais . Needa learn to walk a route on my own ba . Xi guan jiu hao . Can't be so weak ! Needa jiayou and go for it , can't so easily break down anymore !

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11:20PM ; 1 July 11

Tiring day . Celebrated friend's birthday with another grp of cliques . Had fun (: Hope th birthday girl will be happy with her gift^^ Spent so long searching for it cos I ain't into KPOP !! It totally isn't worth th price , but it sure is worth to see a smile th receiver smiles when she receives it . I'm willing to spend money on people and friends just to see them smile and be happy , even if its for a moment . Its all worth it though kinda silly (:

Whatever you said made sense . What comes around goes around . But I'm sure I haven't done anything to deserve such treating from th three of you . Well , I choose to believe that its all part of life . We've all parted . All changed . Not that I didn't . But even if I did , its mostly because of these happenings . I've decided to stop deceiving myself with all th stuffs I've been thinking of . Time to step out of it and stop going back into it . Sigh . Confused:(

~*T,C&LWNR**~

11PM ; 1 July 11